


Post Jail Date

by jokerswild



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Bofur doesn't care at the moment, Dwalin is going to feed them both to Smaug, M/M, Nori is a smug bastard, under the table handjobs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-27
Updated: 2013-06-27
Packaged: 2017-12-16 07:51:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/859705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jokerswild/pseuds/jokerswild
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sure Nori could get out of here on his own</p><p>Bofur bailing him out is much more fun though</p>
            </blockquote>





	Post Jail Date

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thisismestandingup](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=thisismestandingup).



> For [thorinoakenshield](http://archiveofourown.org/users/thorinoakenshield) just for being awesome!
> 
> Inspired by [this](http://textsfromthorinscompany.tumblr.com/post/53479238289/412-oh-okay-thats-fine-ill-buy-us-both) post on tumblr

“Hi, Dwalin!” Bofur greets the gruff guard with his usual sunny smile. He isn't surprised when all he gets from the other dwarf is an annoyed grunt and highly unamused look. He continues to smile anyway and drops a bag of coins onto Dwalin's desk.

If Bofur thought the look he was getting was unamused the one he's getting now looks like Dwalin might actually reach across his desk and slap him. Which he probably deserves to be perfectly honest.

“Why do you come and bail him out every time when you know he's just going to end up back in here?” 

“He's my friend,” he replies with a shrug. It's the truth to an extent and Dwalin seems to know that judging on the 'I'm not stupid' look he's shooting Bofur's way.

“You're friendly with a lot of people that I've seen in here. You never come to bail them out,” he observes as he leans back in his chair, his tree trunk arms crossing over his massive chest.

“Nori and I have been friends the longest, since we were little dwarrows actually” he says without missing a beat. He may not have his friend's ability to convince anyone that the sky is actually purple but he has a pretty decent poker face.

“'Sides, I don't have money to bail 'em all out.” Bofur shrugs again as Dwalin watches him. He'll never know how Nori doesn't wither under the guard's gaze like he wants to right now, but then Nori also has much more experience with guards than Bofur ever wants.

“You're wasting your money, Bofur. You and I both know that he can get himself out,” Dwalin growls and glares up at him. He has to wonder if Dwalin gives Dori or Ori the same speech when they're the ones to come and get Nori. Besides it was hardly his own money that he was spending, well some of it was kind of. If he had a good night playing cards he'd put a few coins away for just such situations and of course he'd get small pouches in the mail from an _anonymous_ source that went into the “bail Nori out of jail, again” fund.

Not that he was going to ever tell Dwalin any of that.

“He can? How does he do that?” The miner scratches under his hat and pretends not to know a thing about Nori's constant slipping of the guards or that there isn't a cell in Middle Earth that can hold the thief for long. Bofur is pushing his luck and knows he's heading in the right direction to getting himself thrown in a cell with Nori if he doesn't shut up. It's hard though when Dwalin huffs like a bull about to charge and Bofur just naturally just wants to push to see how much it would take for the his patience to snap. He really should leave that up to the ginger thief, at least Nori knows how to escape from angry guards. The miner has no knowledge the required amount of luck for such things.

It's knowing how Bifur would react if he had to come and bail his cousin out of jail that keeps Bofur from causing too much trouble. Bombur would at least wait until they were behind closed doors to question his older brother's sanity but Bifur has no problems with all of Middle Earth knowing just what he thinks about his cousin's life and his choices.

He didn't blame either of them, sometimes he wondered himself if he'd taken a knock to hard to the head to be attracted to Nori. Balin had once told him that no one got to pick who they fell in love with and while Bofur did take some comfort from the words, they didn't help at all when Nori would be gone for months at a time.

“Just come on,” Dwalin grunts as he brushes past the miner. Well as much as a moving mountain of a dwarf can just “brush” past anyone.

He follows behind the gruff dwarf until they get to the cell that Nori is in and Dwalin grumbles something that's either “Bofur is here” or “I hope you fall down a mineshaft”. The miner isn't close enough to hear but soon enough the door is open and the guard is heading back to his desk.

Good ol' Dwalin doing what's right even if he'd rather punch the thief in the face than let him go. Again.

Nori strides out of his cell and greets Bofur with a particularly bright smile, grey eyes shining with mischief, and that's the look that the miner will never get tired of.

The thief motions for Bofur to lead the way out and all he can do is smile wide as he turns on his heel to leave. He's not exactly sure what Nori does, a rude gesture or maybe even just a smug smile, but whatever it is Dwalin actually growls at him. Bofur is quick to turn back around and the thief by the tunic and quickly drag him outside before the guard changes his mind and throws him back in the cell.

He has about half a second to consider asking why they can't just meet at the tavern for dinner and drinks like _normal_ dwarrows before he finds himself pushed up against the outside wall of the jail, the stone wall cold even through his coat and Nori's lips warm against his.

Bofur wraps his arms around the thief, letting him deepen the kiss briefly before he's placing both hands on Nori's chest and pushing him away. 

“You owe me a post jail, I appreciate you bailing me out _again_ Bofur, date,” he grins as he rights his hat. Even with the light slowly fading with the setting sun, the miner can see his companions wolfish smile. 

“I can start showing you just how much I appreciate you right here,” Nori purrs as he presses him back against the wall. For a second Bofur is actually tempted to let the ginger dwarf do as he pleases but that's about the moment that Dwalin's voice comes booming from inside the jail, barking orders at his underlings. 

Right they should probably get out of here before Dwalin finds them. 

Bofur can see the wheels turning in Nori's head as he studies the front door of the building, already plotting against Dwalin, and the miner takes the moment to grab the thief's hand and guide them to the tavern they always go to when he's in town. It's on the other side of the settlement from either of their family's homes and no one asks questions, which could all be Nori's doing for all Bofur knows. 

The tavern is always poorly lit, most of the light coming from a few lanterns placed on tables where some dwarrows play cards or dice, and there's a thick cloud of smoke that never dissipates hanging over the patrons. It's not nearly as loud as the livelier places he frequents while Nori is away, places that you have to yell to be heard by the person next to you, but it's hardly quiet either. There's a steady clamoring of dwarves playing cards and dice games in here, you can easily have a hushed conversation if you wished. It's a shabby little place but it's also the kind of place that you would never find members of either of their families. 

They sit in a dark corner booth where they eat what the barmaid calls beef and Bofur isn't about to question it. It's swimming in enough gravy with enough mashed potatoes that he hardly cares. When you've grown up going to bed without dinner more often than not, like the both of them have, you tend not to care too much about the food placed in front of you. Free food at that since Nori is paying. 

Still Bofur can just hear his brother bemoaning the fact that they're eating, what he'd call, slop. 

He was happy with the slop though and its made even better with the occasional brush of Nori's hand against his thigh or fond look. 

When he's done, Bofur pushes his plate away, polishes off his ale and lights his pipe. The sit in a comfortable silence for a while, the miner leaning just enough that their shoulders touch while Nori traces runes along the inside of his knee. At least he's pretty sure their runes, there's a definite start and stop to each shape but they aren't any runes that Bofur knows in either Westron or Khuzdul. 

He takes a particularly long draw off his pipe and just before he exhales, he finds his lips covered by Nori's who inhales the smoke as he breathes out. Bofur chuckles as smoke wisps from between Nori's lips and just a little from his nose. 

“Ready to go upstairs so I can _appreciate_ you properly?” Nori asks, waggling his braided eyebrows. Bofur fights a laugh but can't stop the grin that spreads across his face. 

“What's the hurry? Learn a little patience, Nori,” He smirks around the stem of his pipe. Suddenly the hand that had been on his knee is making its way further north and if Bofur spreads his legs a little it's all his subconscious' fault. 

“Missed you, Bo,” Nori's breath is warm against his ear and the miner has to swallow hard to stop the whine that wants to escape him when the hand stops just short of where he really wants it to be. 

“I thought you said you wanted to go upstairs,” Bofur grinds out when Nori's hand is suddenly cupping him through his trousers. 

“Maybe I changed my mind,” he teases playfully, a deft hand slowly working the miner to full hardness. 

“Nori,” Bofur tries to growl in warning but it just comes out as a low whine. The look he shoots the thief is also supposed to have way more venom than it does and whatever it ends up looking like amuses Nori. He wants to be angry with the ginger dwarf but with the hand on his length makes that difficult. 

“Alright, we should go upstairs now.” Nori moves to stand up and go but Bofur catches him by the sleeve before pulling the thief back to him. 

“Don't you dare,” Bofur manages to actually growl this time, mostly unhappy about the loss of the much needed friction. The idea of trying to hide his current predicament to make his way up the stairs is something he doesn't want to entertain. 

“Now who needs to learn a little patience, Bo?” Nori looks way too smug for the miner's tastes and he's somewhere between wanting to punch the ginger dwarf and tackling him to floor and kissing him stupid. 

Luckily Nori seems to know what's rolling around in his head and slides back up to the other dwarf, wrapping one arm around his shoulders and dropping his other hand down to start undoing the laces to Bofur's trousers. 

“I'd never leave you wanting,” Nori whispers against his ear, “well for very long anyway.” The thief chuckles and slips his hand underneath Bofur's clothing. He doesn't have enough time to give the ginger dwarf a questioning look before there's a warm hand wrapping around his length. He starts to pant a little as Nori moves his hand, dragging his thumb over the slit like he likes and it takes all his restraint to not moan outright. 

The miner doesn't have the practice with being silent like his thief does, he's never needed to be that quiet before, and while no one cares about the pair of dwarves in the corner booth, that doesn't mean that Bofur wants to draw everyone's attention to whats going on under their table. He puts his elbows up on the table and rests his forehead against his hands, looking like he's praying to Mahal while Nori has a comforting arm around his shoulders. 

Their Maker is the furthest thing from his mind as he tries not to buck up into the thief's hand, biting the inside of his cheek to keep himself silent. Bofur has a habit of babbling during sex, something Nori enjoys that smug bastard, and that's what he wants to do now. There's a steady mantra of _oh Mahal yes_ and _faster_ and _Nori, please_ running through his mind as the other continues to bring him closer to his release. 

“Going to come for me, Bo?” Nori purrs against his ear and that was definitely not a whimper that just escaped from the miner's throat. He can only give the thief a brief nod, not trusting himself to actually open his mouth without making some kind of noise. 

Bofur's world starts to shrink down to Nori's hand on his cock and the dwarf's breath against his neck, everything feeling too tight as he teeters right on the edge, needing just a little more. His thief knows him well though, leaning in to roughly drag his teeth over his ear lobe while his hand tightens around him. That's all it takes for Bofur to come, eyes screwed shut and jaw clenched tight enough that he could probably crack his teeth, the only noise escaping him is a quiet groan. 

Nori continues to pump his hand, working the miner through his orgasm before pulling his hand out and redoing the laces of his trousers. Bofur is too busy trying to get his erratic breathing back to something close to normal, silently wondering if his heart is pounding loud enough for the whole tavern to hear, to see his companion wipe his hand on the poor excuse of a napkin before paying the barmaid for their meal and drinks. 

“See you upstairs,” is all the thief says before presses a quick kiss to Bofur's neck and leaves. 

**Author's Note:**

> I have a tumblr [here](http://bofurs.co.vu/) if you want to drop by and say hello you're more than welcome to!


End file.
